According the the latest research from the book Emotional Intelligence 2.0, 36% of people are “emotionally literate”, meaning nearly two-thirds of us do not know how to appropriately express our underlying feelings and needs without judgement or blame of someone. This tells me that – 1. Most of us are probably not where with think we are on the emotional scale of life. 2. Perhaps most of the world operates –NOT BY TRUE POWER -but by FORCE. I will explain in a moment… And 3, without a conscious and deliberate effort, we all fall prey to toxic emotional responses that damage ourselves and our relationships.
On Point #1 – What I’ve come to see is even in our UU circles, some think they are past the point of needing to examine their personal growth processes. Some think because they have retired or read lots of books that they are exempt from growing their souls. In fact I’m shocked at how many of us do not do personal growth/self-awareness work. Based on the scientific findings we all need to do work on how to respond when our emotions are heightened. So I think we are deceiving ourselves if we believe we are done learning how to be our best selves. That’s not a statement to draw guilt but rather a statement to make you think and reason.
And that’s why church is important. Here we get reminded of our highest aspirations. No matter your age and stage, you want to continue to be challenged to be more open and inclusive; and made sometimes uncomfortable—because you know that it is only when you are challenging yourself that you are growing, spiritually. As long as you are in your present human incarnation, you know deep down that you are here to learn lessons and explore possibilities about yourself and others. To close this process off is akin to death. Indeed some of the most vibrant people I have met, continue to keep their lives moist by engaging in topics, people, places and things that keep them in love with life’s mysteries. When we stop pursuing our personal best, we become dry and brittle, we lose our sense of excitement and we end up in anger and despair, bitterness and apathy more often than not. The people I know who are continually processing and trying to grow their souls are truly some of the most fulfilled people I know. They understand joy and know how to put things into their proper perspective. They are less judgmental, thoughtful in their responses—they’re just nice and easy to be around. They are powerful people that attract good and wholeness, vitality and peace.
On my second point, that most live by force and not by true power. True power is joy, love, peace and all of those good words the sages have taught. Most live by force. Alethea Shiplett shared with me a book I’m reading titled: Power vs Force—the Hidden Dimensions of Human Behavior by medical doctor and PHD author David R. Hawkins.
Dr. Hawkins studies Kinesiology which defined is “the study of the mechanics of body movement”. Using a simple test with the arm, he could measure a “strong or powerful” response in subjects or a “weak or forceful” response. For example a good smelling food prompted a strong physical response with his arm test, and a bad smelling food prompted the arm to go weak. He tested things like Vitamin C vs artificial sweetener. In individuals and even when whole groups were tested, the result was the same—the muscle goes weak with the thought of artificial sweetener and the muscle grows stronger when thinking of vitamin C. I guess my mom was right. She always says to me “Leave that fake stuff alone.”
Dr. Hawkins’ simple test could (he died a while back) supposedly tell if someone is lying, if a book is accurate, whether religious or scientific. He tested hundreds of people, together and separate, and the results were the same—that somehow human anatomy individually and collectively knows through its five senses and collective human consciousness when something is helpful or harmful.
But the book gets really interesting when he rates the power of specific words. On his very complex scale calibrated through thousands of test subjects, he finds something even more interesting… The scale goes from 1 to 1000. 1 being very weak and akin to death and 1000 being enlightenment… The mid-point on his scale is 200, and so anything above 200 on his scale moves from force to true power. Force indicates negative means of energy usage and power indicates positive usage of energy output by humans.
At the lowest point of energy is shame at 20—Brene Brown’s work on shame is dead on at how toxic it truly is. Next is 30 – Guilt, 50 Apathy (or hopelessness); 75 Grief that is held on too long; 100 Fear (fear is negative but can create false forms of power that don’t last); 125 Desire—which leads to accumulation and greed; 150 Anger that is unharnessed or unchecked can feed the soul for some time but eventually turns on itself in the form of cancer or sickness; 175 Pride; and 200 Courage.
True power begins to emerge at 200 and above… His arm test calibration begins to show what he called “true power”… 250 – Neutrality (being able to move beyond dichotomies); 310 Willingness- to try fail and succeed; 350 Acceptance; 400 Reason- That is the ability to understand deep complexities and intricacies in relationships and in life, as well as the understanding of symbols and the scientific method as a way but not the absolute way. 500 Love –true love that gives without expectation; 540 Joy – real happiness is joy and bliss. 600 Peace (peace that surpasses understanding); 700-1000 Enlightenment (our sages who come to teach us).
Who knows if he purposely calibrated his test to work in his favor. For me it makes sense, intuitively. I want to believe this. I want to believe that when a church or individual or corporation or whatever focuses on the higher things, good growth, organic growth, transformational growth occurs. The kind of growth that can evolve us to Beloved Community!
When we get stuck in the things lower than 200 levels, we stagnate and create chaos, pain and trouble. So our lesson is obvious. Physiologically we are built to manifest true power and when we don’t, we and all in our sphere of influence suffer.
So when you think about your actions realize that some of them are absolutely creating physical toxicity in yourself and the world. When you decide not to choose the higher road of love and forgiveness and joy and peace you are getting in your own way. You are taking a weak position that is not healthy.
Based on this data, look at the weak position taken in our world. You have political candidates who use shame, guilt, fear and desire to proclaim our country’s power and greatness. When they’re really promoting our force and weakness. They are using the language of false power. They have not learned the lesson that true power gives and let’s go, and forgives, and sacrifices, and is gracious and leads to joyful living that is pluralistic and inclusive.
What about you? How are you living? Are you living in fear, guilt or shame? Are you being too prideful or greedy? Are you a consensus builder or trouble maker? Do you attract chaos or community? Do you want more joy? Do you wanna spread love and not fear? Do you want more bliss? You can have it with a conscious, determined and deliberate effort. It’s right there for you. If you are ready, ask yourself more questions below.
QUESTIONS:
Do you live your life from a position of strength or weakness?
Do you live a life of force or power?
How can you make peace with your shame or guilt, your anger or sadness?
What spiritual practices renew you?
How can our congregation practice living at or above the 200 level?
You can absolutely heal yourself and our world. It starts with YOU. Namaste!
Love,
Rev. John