Recently, my wife, Catherine, and I took the Amtrak back from a day in New York City. Hoping to catch up on sleep during the ride home, we made our way to the quiet car. As we were preparing to leave Penn Station, a conductor came through our car to remind us that this was a very full train and to ask everybody to remove their belongings from the seat next to them. A devotee of train travel, I knew this to be a common request, especially when there are more passengers waiting at the next station.
One passenger, however, felt that this was an unreasonable request. She insisted that because nobody was right there asking for her seat that she should not have to move her possessions. The conductor told her that there would likely be someone soon who would need that seat. In fact, there might even be someone wandering the other train cars looking for a seat right now! Still, she refused to move her things. Eventually, security had to be called and only when threatened with removal from the train did the passenger move her belongings and free up the additional seat. Yikes!
At the time, I was mostly frustrated because the incident held up our train’s departure from New York. But the more I reflected on the incident, the more I saw its parallels to a common problem in church communities. Often times when we form groups – whether covenant groups, practice groups, or neighborhood dinner circles – we get comfortable with the people in the group. We get into rhythms and form relationships. All of the seats around the potluck table are full.
And we should build long-lasting and deep relationships in these groups! But it can become a problem when we start to feel like we own the group. Our mentality becomes like the woman on the train. Rather than leave a seat open that might be filled by a stranger, we take up extra space hoping to keep things the way we like them. The reality is that the small group belongs to the whole congregation. Leaving an open seat does the holy work of invitation and creates the possibility of something new. As UUCA moves forward into a new small group ministry initiative (contact Rev. John or Rev. Christina for more information or to participate in the facilitator training that is coming up this Saturday or Sunday!), I pray that we will all practice the work of invitation and create groups that look toward possibility.
In faith,
Hannah