Rev. John Crestwell — SERMON – Eschatological Exegesis –February 7, 2021
“The Answer Comes back to me in the end…” That’s what spirals do. They go around and around, and they come back to their source. When it comes to how you choose to live your life—you are the ultimate arbiter. You are the source.
I titled my message Eschatological Exegesis because Josh came up with the title in a meeting. But it works today. Eschatology is the “study of “end time” biblical literature and exegesis simply means “biblical interpretation”. Books like Daniel and Revelation in the Bible are eschatological books describing the end of time on earth and humanity as we know. These old books have been taken exaggeratingly out of context because there is no real end. Even when humans are done on earth the earth will keep spinning until brother sun decides otherwise. And then the sun becomes a blackhole—it is something else. Energy never dies. Fractals and circles show us that beginnings are ends and ends are beginnings. Today I want to study and interpret our end goal as human beings and as a congregation. How to be and aspire for Beloved Community.
What is your end goal in life? To be happy? To be content? To be at peace? What is the end goal of this congregation? Heaven on earth? Nirvana? Fractals are patterns of evolution. How you start and evolve your patterns matters in how you will experience life. If you look at the Fibonacci numbering sequence (I’ll go in to that at another time); and nature, there is a mathematical pattern to how things evolve. If you do not separate yourself from nature; if you belive that you are nature/I am nature, then you can see that you’re a part of this cosmic formulation. In the Fibonacci sequence, the numbers start out small and then spiral out infinitely. Things start out small to large. And if you look at nature, the same biology in the small is in the large. The same creative forces in you are in the pattern, repeating at scale. How do you know that you’re not repeating your patterns at scale? How do you know that by your thoughts words and deeds you could be changing the world right where you are—right now if everything repeats at scale?
If I am nature; then I repeat these patterns. I repeat at scale. What I do with those close to me is what I do with those foreign to me. If I fix myself, I fix the world. So, the end is the beginning, and everything brings us back to ourselves. Those of us with kids…Our children, our families are fractal patterns of us. A spiritual practice of going within allows one to identify the positive and negative fractal patterns that emerge as a result of our domestication—our mechanized habits due to our socialization. The cool part about being a conscious, aware human is that we can change negative fractal patterns into something healthier and positive—which BTW is what I believe the purpose of human life is—to transmute the negative into the positive internally and externally. To balance internal and external polarities that divide.
We project our habits on everyone in our spheres of influence. We leave a little piece of ourselves wherever we go and who knows what our energy does to a time, place, or circumstance.
Lao Tzu affirms this.
Fix yourself fix your family, fix your family fix your community, fix your community, fix your nation, fix your nation fix your planet.
I wanted to give a shout out to my children this week on Facebook. Writing this sermon made me think of them. As I said, they are fractal pattern of their parents. They show me/us the work we are doing that’s good and not so good. That call me to a practice of continual non-judgment, compassion, and active listening. I try not to blame, and practice forgiveness with my family daily. And when I am frustrated or mad or afraid for them—I ask—where is that coming from? Why is this bothering me so much? And this work has made a huge difference in my attitude toward living and loving.
I chased happiness and peace for a long time. Never found it. I found it in stillness. Years ago, when I met Rev. Fred he asked a young ambitious minister, “When is enough, enough?” That has stuck with me over the years. He wasn’t discouraging me. He knew I was very actively working for justice, equity and compassion in human relations. He saw me speaking up for racial equity and marriage equality. But he sensed something. A dis-ease was apparent. I thought about it later and what I heard was “When will you stop racing and chasing” to find yourself? Be who you are. You are enough.
About two years later, I was selected to give the Sunday sermon at the UUA General Assembly in 2012. There I was on stage with 4,000 UUs—a high point for my ministry. Rev. Fred, Rev. Christina and Rev Anastassia (who was an intern then) were there and a part of the Sunday service. I gave what I thought was my best sermon. “Love is justice in action” I said. Standing ovation! My dreams of speaking to a large audience had come true. I thought, “MLK would be proud.” Afterward, I found myself in a mild depression. For the first time in my life, I didn’t have anything to chase. And the thrill wasn’t what I expected. The world hadn’t changed. There was no there. I had to reassess my ministry and my reasons for doing what I was doing. Why was I working in the community and mentoring troubled young people? It was a part of my job but I in part designed my work. It hit me in the stillness that I was doing these ministerial things because I thought that’s what a good minister is supposed to do. “If I do this I will feel like a minister.” And there it was… I was depressed. But it is our moments of despair where we often repair. I found my ministry soon after. That is when my ministry turned from outside/in to inside/out. I went from ego-based to faith-based. I decided to do what I felt “called” to do and not what others expected me to do. I realized I was trying to achieve and chase, as Brene Brown puts it, “hustling for my worth”. But my tank was on E…
The chase for the carrot never ends and we can chase until our soul leaves this body. I chased in my work life, entrepreneurial life and now ministerial life and after all that I was still worried and fearful, and exhausted. There had to be a better way. That still soft voice said: “Inside to outside, JC. There is no there—there. Each ‘there’ is just a new starting point for some other thing to chase after. You will never be satisfied on this path. If you wish for love and acceptance and joy, John, that is found from within… Why do you want to save the world? What is that all about? Who are you trying to prove yourself to? Are you doing what you feel called to do or what others expect you to do? Let your light shine and that will be enough. Be who you are. Save yourself, first and you will save YOUR world.”
And there it was… Help the ones right in front of you, first. Be present with your family, first. Eliminate the toxic hate, racism and ignorance in your heart, first. Religion is about faith, hope, love and trust and this literally means listening to your higher/inner self that always has your back and always leads you to love. It conspires for you.
Friends, I know now that the work that you need to do will come to you; and when it does you will know because it is YOUR work. And because it is yours it will not let you go until you find it. And because it’s yours you find joy even amidst the sorrow or pain.
So many-times we are giving and doing because of guilt. That is the wrong spirit. We give (when we can) because we recognize it as holy work. And we do what we do because we are moved by LOVE and not guilt or shame then holy outcomes manifest.
Like this week… I don’t know if you know this, but some people in this congregation answered the call to the family whose house burned down in Robinwood. Our church was mentioned in the Capital Newspaper a few days ago. Some of you heard the call and it was YOUR WORK and you responded. Thank you for following your heart. You represent YOUR and OUR love every time you do that with the right intention. The same thing is true when some of you started our outdoor food pantry. There’s a sister from the community that posts every week on our Facebook Page about the good work of this church and all the families we’re helping in a marginalized community. Thank you for doing that. This is the work that’s right in front of us. It is what we are called to do as a local congregation.
Today’s message is really me sharing with you that I know what my ministry with you is now. I have a pastoral and teaching ministry that is sometimes social justice-oriented. I am a pastoral minister and co-executive here to help build a congregation built on the enduring principle of love and not fear. I am here with our minister of equal standing, Rev. Anastassia Zinke, to help build a congregation that continues to be a local force for good with members and friends who believe that all are worthy of love and respect. I am here with people who choose to be self-aware and self-organizing for the sake of love; people who know that to change the world we must change ourselves. Be the change Gandhi said.
Fractal biology or what Adrienne Maree Brown calls bio-mimicry (mimicking biological organisms) means we do what nature does. She helps us see that systems based in predatory practices will become extinct—like Lions, tigers, and bears—Oh my! Things like mushrooms, ants, ferns, roaches, and dandelions, she says, are organisms we should be modeling our lives and our systems after. I never thought I’d compare myself with a cockroach—but it makes sense to me.
Like me, Ms. Brown had an awakening. After all her protesting and activism, she felt that same emptiness and realized during a retreat with nature that happiness is found in aspirations, of course, but also in everyday inspirations; and that the everyday is what sustains the someday. THE EVERY DAY inspirations SUSTAIN THE SOMEDAY ASPIRATIONS.
Both your ministers share this belief. In fact, last month, we met for over 10-hours in January to discuss the vision of UUCA and what we mean by the words beloved community; and some interesting things emerged. I mentioned some of this a few weeks ago. Since then we have shared our preliminary thoughts with the Board and they have given us their blessing to keep going forward in exploring the etymology and semantics behind the words we use in our congregation like beloved community. Consider this… We are a part of the BE-LOVED-COMMUNITY. That sums up what every human needs to live a sustainable life. We want to BE. We want to be who we are. To BE is saying I EXIST. I am somebody. Then we want to be loved. Yes! And community—to commune. We come together in common purpose with common values and hopes. Beloved community is a place where we can be; where we can experience love, and where we can exist as a community of mutuality and respect. Rev. Anastassia and I also discussed that there are experiences when we have felt when in beloved community and we named those feelings and values…
- Mutuality
- Connection
- Non-violence
- Honesty/Trust
- Authenticity/Realness
- Equitable Contribution/ Faithful Service
- Liberation/ Freedom and Justice
- Action
- Accountability
- Forgiveness
- Reconciliation
- Compassion
- Boldness
- Love
(there are more)
We agreed that when you experience these values or feelings or attributes in a particular time, place or circumstance, you are having a beloved community moment. So, we put this all together with a definition… The beloved or (BE-LOVED) Community is an inspiration and aspiration which exists inside us and this congregation; and it exists outside us and this congregation when we are in relational spaces of mutuality, connection, non-violence, honesty, trust, authenticity, equity, liberation, action, accountability, reconciliation, forgiveness, service, boldness, compassion, generosity, and love.
What about fighting for justice and racial reconciliation work? Of course, we must do that. However, that is a MEANS to the END. The end goal (even though there is no end—just continuation); but the end goal, in terms of the organizational goal is beloved community which for us translates to a time or times when we are living at our highest good; times when we transcend injustice. That’s an aspiration. But it’s also an inspiration. Every time you are in a space where you don’t have to worry about someone disparaging your race or gender or sexual orientation, etc., and you feel loved, seen, heard, and accepted you are in beloved community. You are having a BC moment.
I have experienced these moments and all of them have not come during joyful times. The one I want to point out, as I close happened during tragedy. It was when Wendi Winters was murdered.
There we were shocked and crushed and in disbelief. But we had to keep going. We had a vigil at the church for Wendi—remember all the national media descended on us that evening because her children came to the service. Rev. Fred was there too, and I remember him telling me how surreal that night was. I had to be strong, so I thought. And I tried. But as the service went on, the testimonials, the wailing, and deep hurt was taking its toll on the room. I looked on the front row and there was Rev. Fred—who hadn’t been back to the congregation since he’d retired. This was his first time back because of this tragic situation. There he was… And I could see everyone from my vantage point. But it was Fred who triggered me. His hands were over his face and he was hunched over sobbing. I was not able to hold my composure. Out of nowhere, the was a hand on my back. I turned around with tears welling in my eyes, and it was Charlotte Wallace, a nurse by day but my hero in that moment. She’d come up to the stage to give me a hug. I needed it. And I sobbed and let it all out. But in that moment, I knew that you were my people. I knew that I was your minister and I knew that I was loved and cared for.
Beloved Community comes in small and large ways. It is a day-to-day experience and a hoped-for vision for our world. But it all starts within and with the mundane and plain. The presence of another human body; the kind words, the hug, the soft kiss, the smile, the cup of coffee or tea, the sympathy card, the shared tears. That’s the end goal—LOVE. That’s what’s right in front of you every day. That’s the love supreme that Coltrane understood. It is the love we must continue to co-create here at UUCA. This love, my friends, is what the human fractal is all about. Go be it. May it be so. Amen.
